Never Fear...

Thank you so much my dear, sweet friend for sharing your thoughts with me and not having hit the delete button! I truly do want to understand you better. You know that it is in my nature to want to know how things work, whether it is a human being or a piece of machinery. I feel as though I have missed so much in growing up and maturing in leading my life the way I have so far. I also know that my heart wouldnt be able to stand my going through with the idea of an affair. I would not have done that with the gentleman I mentioned earlier any way....he too is married and I could not have doen that to his marriage. Although I do believe that he has! Is it wrong to openly flirt and indulge in sexual inuendo (sp?)? If I cant deal with all the baggage of an affair then I wish my husband would hurry up and sick of me enough to get a divorce! I have a lot of experimenting to do! Never fear though sis... I always end up doing what is 'right' cause I never want to let anyone down.....that is partially why I am in the position I am today! I never wanted to let people down by waking away from my marriage...I didnt want to let my children down by taking them away from their father...and I didnt want to let my husband down by telling people of the abuse I have endured the past 28 years.....It is just easier to let myself down. So, never fear, I wont let anyone down with my misbehavior...I fear letting them down by my leaving will be all that can endure at first!