Reality?

Reality? Is it today or yesterday? Did I dream yesterday? Im slightly hazey on everything...it was a bit of hold your breath and go for it......did I go for the right thing? Am I going to have regrets? Im sure I will at times.... This has been a harder decision than the one to go ahead with the amputation...... that was a foot, an apendage.....my heart has been broken for a long time but now I feel as though I just riped it out of my own chest. I lay in bed last night and thought this REALLY isnt my home now....strange feeling after 20 plus years. I know that in th long run it was the right decision, that in reality, it was the only one. I just wish it didnt have to make me feel so sick.....