Runing Out Of Time

I feel like Im running out of time......like someone has changed things so that my mind is running at hyper speed and it cant slow down because Im running out of time. What I dont understand is why. Why those feelings? I keep trying to make a difference and Im not yet given permission , or some odd type of thing. There are barriers set up, hurdles I cant jump. I pray that I get a possitive responce for that job with HSBC. There would be a connection to my past, insurance, seniority back, vacations, holidays, and yes! a pay check!!!! There would also be people. I hate loneliness. Thinking about myself and my lifes issues too much is not in my best mental health interest at this time. My car is scrubbed inside and out, my house is clean and my plants are all weeded and watered. I could work on my painting and sewing, but I cant my head to slow down enough to do a great job. so there is no sence in doing something lie that if it is not going to be a good job. So lets pray that what ever it is I feel so urgently about can come into focus. also that whomever placed those barriers up will allow me to pass through so that I may make that difference I need to. Maybe they will find that I can be beneficial in their world too!