Patience

Well, it has been brought to my attention by my friends that I am no longer a patient person. Perhaps that is from having to be patient for soooo long that I feel life has and is slipping away from me. I am trying... I see what I want and maybe dont go about getting it the proper way. I will relearn patience. That maybe what I want is not unrealistic but my impatience has caused me to lose much. Namely friends and the respect of many. I have fallen in love with a man who has also fallen in love with me. We know that the way we went about things was not the correct way to do it. My divorce will be final before years end and his will be final next year. Our families and friends and acquaintances know of our relationship. Many are excited and happy for us, some not so much and others hate us for it. I have had set backs from my recovery from surgery because of a fall and stitches coming out, infection setting in and swelling not going down as anticipated. I have been living in a wheelchair and on crutches since August 16th and am going completely stir crazy. I have been fortunate that last week my parents took a break from unpacking at their new home in TN and they came and got me and brought me down here for warmth and sunshine recuperation and TLC. I seem to be stuck in a perpetual holding pattern in life and I am can hardly stand it. Maybe God is trying to force the whole patience issue on me and seems to be kicking and fighting it all the way. I am trying, Lord, to learn, truly I am. As soon as I get a prosthetic that will hold me I need to get to work....even if its part time. I need to feel useful. I am doing no one any good circle my apartment or staying in bed all day. Since my fall I am afraid to go out alone or in the rain or much of anywhere. I need to get my self confidence back. I need to be useful and productive. I need to make a living. I am thankful for my parents, my children and having a man in my life that I love and that loves me. A man that I do not have to worry about causing me physical or emotional damage. I am thankful for friends who have stuck by me, not because they agree or disagree with my lifes decisions but because they love me unconditionally, and I them. I am thankful that God gives us the opportunities to correct our mistakes or at least try to and to move on...also loving us unconditionally.